You know that thing you keep saying you "should" do?
You don't actually want to do it.
If you did, you'd be doing it.
After coaching hundreds of leaders, I've seen the same pattern over and over again.
They were "successful." Had clout, status and an impressive salary.
But they were living someone else's dream. Not their own.
Their lists were full of shoulds:
"I should spend more time with family."
"I should exercise more."
"I should find work-life balance."
"I should be grateful for what I have."
Here's what I've learned: Your "shoulds" are shame in disguise. They're other people's voices wearing your clothes.
They're guilt pretending to be goals.
Watch what happens when you flip the script:
"I should work out" becomes → "I want to feel strong in my body"
"I should network more" becomes → "I want real conversations that matter"
"I should read more" becomes → "I want new ideas lighting up my brain"
"I should be more successful" becomes → "I want to build something meaningful"
Feel that shift?
That's the difference between obligation and desire. Between dragging yourself forward and being pulled by something real.
We've been taught that wanting is selfish. That should is noble. That suffering equals success.
Bull sh*t.
Want is honest. Should is a lie you tell yourself.
Want energizes. Should exhausts.
Want creates. Should criticizes.
Here's your assignment: Take your biggest "should" right now. Strip away the guilt. Peel back the expectation. Dig past the fear.
What do you actually want underneath it?
Sometimes it's the same thing in different clothes.
Sometimes it's the complete opposite.
Sometimes it's scarier than any should.
That's how you know it's real.
I spent 10 months saying I "should" launch my product.
The truth? I wanted to stay safe. To avoid rejection.
Once I admitted what I really wanted—to share something meaningful despite the fear—everything changed.
Because now I could work with the truth instead of against it.
Your turn.
What's hiding under your biggest "should"?
Want courageously,
Jeff
P.S. The most successful people I know? They stopped shoulding all over themselves and started wanting with clarity. The difference changes everything.