"When's the last time you failed so hard it made you cry?"
Um, never... was the response.
Our youth don't know how to fail.
We gave them participation trophies.
8th place ribbons.
"Good effort" awards.
Grades they could retake until perfect.
We bubble-wrapped an entire generation.
(Look, I have two kids - consider me guilty!)
And now they're terrified of failure because they've never felt it.
Here's what we didn't teach them:
Real failure HURTS. And that's the point.
It's supposed to sting when you lose the deal.
It's supposed to burn when your idea flops.
It's supposed to suck when you get rejected.
That pain? That's your teacher.
I was speaking with a recent college grad. Brilliant kid. He's struggling to find his way in his career. I told him to stay the course.
It's not supposed to be easy.
Here's what the participation trophy generation missed:
Failure isn't something to avoid.
It's something to collect.
At Rocket, we had a saying: "Fail fast."
Not "fail safe."
Not "fail soft."
Fast. Cheap. Real.
Because here's the math:
10 fast failures = 10 lessons learned
10 lessons learned = Pattern recognition
Pattern recognition = Success
But if you've never truly failed?
You can't recognize the patterns.
You can't calibrate your risk meter.
You can't develop resilience.
You just develop fear.
Three types of failure I actively seek:
Rejection failures - Put yourself out there until "no" becomes data
Assumption failures - Test your hypothesis until it breaks
Stretch failures - Reach beyond your ability until you fall short
Each one teaches what success never could.
We did young people a disservice with all those participation trophies.
We taught them that showing up was enough.
That effort equals achievement.
That everyone's a winner.
Bull sh*t.
In the real world:
Second place in sales is called unemployment.
Almost landing the client is called losing.
Pretty good execution is called mediocrity.
And that's GOOD.
Because when you finally win?
When you actually succeed?
When you beat the competition?
You'll know you earned it.
No trophy needed.
Your turn: What's the last thing you failed at?
Really failed.
Not "learning experience" failed.
Actually. Failed.
If you can't remember, you're playing too safe.
Fail faster,
Jeff